We found out yesterday that your dad didn't get a job he had applied for, and I am a little surprised at my disappointment. I mean, we have a great life in Charlotte, wonderful friends, a beautiful house. What more could we want.
Well, here's the deal: That job was in Michigan. It would have been half the distance to our families.The houses we could afford there were amazing, huge, on giant lots with lots of privacy. You could have gone to the best schools in the area. We could have gone to the beach every summer. You would have grown up with snow in the winter. We would have lived in a smaller place. It might be safer there. You would have grown up with a lot of the same things your dad and I had and loved as kids. It might have been perfect.
So when your dad didn't get the job, I was really disappointed. Because no matter how much I love Charlotte, I worry that we won't be able to give you all the things we want you to have growing up: good schools, a big yard, snow. Your dad isn't around as much as he would like, and living in Charlotte is expensive. I worry that we can't live the lives we want to live here.
This probably all seems very silly to you now, looking back and reading this and knowing that you grew up just fine. And maybe I'll read this tomorrow and realize that I'm being ridiculous and that you have a wonderful life full of good friends. Maybe I worry too much about things being perfect. Maybe I need to learn to be happy with where I am. Maybe I'm putting too much pressure on things outside of myself to make me happy. But I want everything to be good and happy and perfect for you. That's all.
Here's a picture of you, being perfect and happy and amazing. Also, eating yogurt.
I know this is a very personal blog so this will be my only comment, but I wanted to say that I think this blog is just the sweetest thing I have ever seen and that Henry is so very lucky to have you.
ReplyDeleteI hope you don't mind that I pop in and read it from time to time. I think it's just lovely.